Navigating the “Are You Divorced?” Question During Separation

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

At Linx Dating, we coach our clients through some of the most nuanced aspects of modern dating—including those emotionally loaded, often unexpected questions that can leave someone feeling unprepared or exposed.

One such moment just happened to a female client of ours. She’s navigating a high-profile divorce, emotionally and romantically long removed from her marriage, yet still in the thick of legal and financial finalization. During a date with a man who got divorced many years ago, he gently asked, “Are you actually divorced?”

While likely innocent in intention, the question landed like a punch. She wasn’t expecting it. It felt vulnerable and intrusive. And she didn’t know how to answer without sounding defensive or insecure.

Here’s the truth: In states like California, where the divorce process can be particularly complex and prolonged due to financial or custody matters, “divorced” isn’t always a black-and-white status. You can be emotionally done, romantically detached, and building a completely new life—and yet, still be technically “married” on paper.

So what do you do when someone asks, and your answer is more transitional than final?

Here are three ways to handle the “Are you divorced?” question with confidence and grace:

1. Lead with Clarity, Not Shame

You don’t need to apologize for being in transition. Instead, lead with emotional truth and firm boundaries.

“I’m in the final stages of my divorce. While the paperwork is still being finalized, the relationship has been over for quite some time. I’m clear, open, and emotionally available for the right person.”

By naming where you are with clarity, you communicate emotional availability without needing to defend your timeline.

2. Read the Intention Behind the Question

Sometimes this question is rooted in curiosity or a desire to understand, not judgment. For example, a widow may see divorce as uncharted territory and want to better understand your experience.

Instead of reacting, pause and ask yourself: “Is this person trying to disqualify me—or are they just trying to understand me?”

That subtle mindset shift can move you from feeling exposed to feeling empowered.

3. Redirect to Shared Values

If the conversation starts to veer into uncomfortable territory, gently redirect the conversation to shared values or future-oriented dialogue.

“The paperwork is in process, but what matters most to me is creating something new with someone I deeply respect and connect with. I’m excited about what’s next.”

This frames your response not around the past—but around who you are today and what you’re building.

Dating is vulnerable. Full stop.

And transitional periods—like separation or divorce—can bring even more layers of sensitivity, especially for high-profile individuals. What matters most is not defending your status, but owning your story. It’s okay to still be in progress and to date while in that space—so long as you’re honest with yourself and your matches about your availability and readiness.

At Linx, we champion our clients through these nuanced spaces, helping them stay grounded, confident, and emotionally agile—no matter the question.

Dating With Emotional ROI: Why Stability Beats Drama Every Time

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Dating Is a High-Stakes Game—Play It Like a Smart Investor
In Silicon Valley, decisions are rarely impulsive. Investors vet founders, analyze risk, and seek sustainable growth before writing a single check. Why? Because resources are finite—and return on investment matters.

Dating, too, is a form of high-stakes investing. You're choosing who gets your time, your energy, your heart. But while many people are intentional with their portfolios, they’re often reckless with their relationships. They confuse intensity for intimacy, unpredictability for chemistry, and drama for passion.

Let’s flip that narrative.

If you want a relationship that grows, compounds, and adds lasting value to your life—start dating like a smart investor. Here’s how:

1. Know Your Valuation

In the venture world, valuation reflects potential, traction, and market fit. In dating, your "value" stems from how you carry yourself: your confidence, emotional intelligence, boundaries, and the life you’ve built.
If you don’t know your worth, others will undervalue you. And if you discount yourself, the wrong people will try to buy in at a bargain. Don’t accept a low offer just because the market feels slow.

2. Avoid the Sunk Cost Fallacy

Investors cut ties when a business isn’t delivering. In dating, clinging to someone just because you’ve "already put in so much" is emotional dead weight.
Time invested doesn’t justify staying in a relationship that’s not evolving. Let go of what isn’t scaling. Reinvest in something with real growth potential.

3. Prioritize Emotional Liquidity

A partner who is emotionally unavailable is like a startup with no cash flow—burning through resources and always in crisis mode.
Healthy relationships require reciprocity, presence, and emotional bandwidth. If your love is always in limbo or one-sided, it’s time to audit that investment.

4. Don’t Mistake Volatility for Value

This is where many people get hooked: the highs are intoxicating, the lows are devastating—and it feels real.
But in reality? That’s emotional whiplash, not intimacy. A truly high-value relationship won’t destabilize you. It won’t require constant repair. It will compound quietly, deepening over time. Stability is the new sexy.

In both business and love, it’s not about short-term spikes—it’s about sustained growth. Be as strategic with your heart as you are with your career. Your emotional ROI depends on it.