The Hidden Currency of Relationships: Communicating What Matters

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In Debora Spar’s insightful article “Some Things Are Sacred: How Economics Can Help Us Protect What Matters,” she points out something we don’t talk about enough in dating: relationships often break down not because people don’t care, but because they never clearly communicated what they value.

At Linx, I see this play out constantly—even among the most self-aware, successful individuals. Spar calls these deeply human experiences “sacred goods”—things like emotional safety, loyalty, respect, and affection. These are priceless to us, but they don’t come with a visible price tag. We assume others should just know how much they matter, but without clarity, even the most well-intentioned relationships can fall apart.

Spar argues that if these sacred goods really are so essential, we need to get better at understanding and expressing what they mean to us—and to the people we love. In traditional markets, we’re taught to state value clearly. In dating? We often expect mind-reading. We downplay our needs, sugarcoat our wants, or try to be "low maintenance," only to feel unseen or misunderstood later.

That’s why one of the most important things we do at Linx is help clients get radically clear. Clear on who they are, what they’re looking for, and what they're ready to offer in return. This kind of communication isn’t just about compatibility, it’s about alignment. It’s one thing to say you want a relationship. It’s another to say, “I want to build a life with someone who prioritizes emotional depth, shared goals, and openness.” The difference isn’t subtle. It’s transformational.

We also talk a lot about emotional reciprocity. Spar notes that sacred exchanges are mutual—they require both parties to invest. If one person is doing all the emotional "producing" and the other is just receiving, things will eventually collapse. Whether it’s making plans, initiating vulnerability, or expressing appreciation, the healthiest couples understand that value flows both ways. If it doesn’t, it’s not sacred. It’s one-sided.

This is why I stress that matchmaking isn’t just about introductions. It’s also about giving people the tools to navigate the emotional economy of modern relationships: how to articulate your needs, how to listen, how to show up, and how to ask for more without guilt or fear.

So often, we’re taught that romance should just “happen,” that the right person will intuit everything we need. But the reality is, meaningful connection—just like any high-value good—requires clarity, intention, and mutual effort.

At Linx, we believe your emotional life deserves the same respect you give to your career or finances. Because when you’re clear on your value and willing to communicate it, the right person doesn’t just hear you—they recognize you.

Love Is Sacred: Why Market Principles Matter in Modern Dating

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

At Linx, we work with some of the most successful, driven individuals in the world—people who have built companies, shaped industries, and achieved remarkable things. But when it comes to love, even the most accomplished people often find themselves stuck. Not because they’re unworthy of love, but because love doesn’t operate like the other areas of their life. It can’t be optimized, rushed, or hacked.

Love, connection, trust, and emotional safety are what economist Debora Spar refers to as “sacred goods.” These are experiences we crave but unlike most goods, they can’t be bought or sold. Still, they behave like market items: demand is high, supply is limited, and meaningful exchanges are required to access them.

This framework deeply reflects what we see at Linx. When emotional needs go unmet, it’s often not about the individual—it’s about mismatched environments. You might be ready for intimacy but surrounded by people who aren’t. You may want long-term commitment but are dating in a culture that rewards novelty and speed. Part of what we do is correct that imbalance. We introduce our clients to people who are not only aligned in values and timing, but also emotionally ready for something real.

And real relationships require clarity. In Spar’s research, she highlights how sacred exchanges fall apart when communication breaks down—when people assume their partner should “just know” what matters. In our work, we see this all the time: two great people, both well-meaning, missing each other because they’re not communicating their needs, expectations, or emotional values clearly enough. That’s why coaching is so central to our process. We help clients name what they want, understand what they need, and recognize the signs of healthy alignment.

It’s also why we’re deeply intentional about how we operate. You can’t incentivize sacred goods with money. You can’t swipe your way to depth. But you can invest in a structure that protects what matters. At Linx, we’ve built that structure. We prioritize discretion, curation, and emotional investment. We meet every client personally. We listen. We guide. And we make matches with a level of care that honors the emotional weight of what’s at stake.

There’s a reason we don’t rely on algorithms or mass marketing. We believe the most meaningful relationships come from thoughtful, human-led connections—ones that are rooted in trust, not trends.

Because love isn’t casual. It’s sacred. And the people who find it are the ones willing to treat it that way.

Should You Share Your Last Name on a First Date?

By Amy Andersen, CEO of Linx Dating

There’s a small moment that happens early in dating — so subtle you might miss it.

They ask: “What’s your last name?”

For many, it’s casual small talk. But for others — especially high-profile professionals, public figures, or anyone navigating a sensitive transition — it can feel unexpectedly vulnerable.

At Linx Dating, I coach clients through much more than introductions. I prepare them for real-world moments like this — where connection and discretion intersect. And when it comes to personal information like your last name, I always offer this guiding principle: You are under no obligation to share your last name on a first date.

At Linx, We Lead With Discretion

My style at Linx is simple: I do not disclose last names when introductions occur. Ever. I believe that meaningful connections should unfold organically — based on chemistry, compatibility, and shared values — not a quick Google search or surface-level assumptions. That said, once the date begins and two people are talking directly, they may ask. That’s why I always advise clients to be prepared in advance, rather than caught off guard in the moment.

When that moment comes, understand that some people ask without thinking twice — and that might be something you’re not used to. It can be as simple as them being used to adding your last name to their contacts. It doesn’t have to be a red flag. But if it gives you pause, it’s worth being prepared ahead of time so you can respond in a way that feels true to you.

What to Say (Gracefully and Confidently)

If you’re not ready to share your last name, you can still respond with warmth and poise. Here are a few options that work beautifully:

• “I usually wait to share last names until I’ve had a chance to get to know someone better — I hope that’s okay.”

• “I’ve learned to keep things light in the early stages — it helps me stay present.”

• “Mystery is underrated these days, don’t you think?” (said with a smile) And I have told client to blame me, “I’m not sure Amy would want us breaking her rules!” (Humor goes a long way).

These aren’t evasive. They’re self-aware. And they often reveal something meaningful — how the other person handles a boundary.

Privacy Isn’t Paranoia. It’s Strength

When someone asks your last name early on, it’s often well-intended. But you get to decide what you share and when. Protecting your privacy doesn’t mean you’re hiding something. It means you’re pacing things intentionally — and allowing trust to grow in real time, not through background checks. Boundaries create safety. And safety leads to deeper connection.

The Bottom Line

In early dating, you’re not just learning about the other person — you’re setting the tone for how you want to be treated. That starts with honoring your own comfort, especially when your personal information carries weight. So if your instinct is to hold back? Honor it. The right person won’t question your boundary. They’ll respect it — and look forward to learning more, the meaningful way.

Want more discreet, high-integrity dating advice? Let’s connect. I’m always here to help.

Master “Cobbler” of Connections: Curated Matchmaking for High-Achievers

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Matchmaking is one of humanity’s oldest traditions—long before swipes and algorithms, there were trusted matchmakers - the expert “cobblers” of connection. Like a skilled cobbler who knows every shoe’s story and carefully mends and shapes each pair to ensure a perfect fit, matchmaking has always been a craft requiring patience, intuition, and deep personal knowledge.

At Linx Dating, this timeless tradition is alive and thriving. For over 20 years, we’ve dedicated ourselves to working with a very small, elite group of high-achieving individuals—primarily Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, investors, executives, and creatives—helping them find relationships that truly fit their lives and aspirations.

What sets Linx apart is the intensely personal, hands-on approach I bring to every step. I personally review each and every application that comes through our network. Not only do I hand-input all the data myself (a laborious process that few take on in today’s automated world), but I also personally respond to every applicant. This level of care and attention is simply unheard of in today’s matchmaking landscape.

Why go to such lengths? Because understanding every nuance—the stories, values, hopes, and even the fears—behind each client is essential to creating introductions that matter. This painstaking work is how I identify connections that others (including a lot of technologies as well) miss. It’s why our clients trust Linx with some of the most important decisions of their lives.

Linx Dating is neither about volume, nor about relying on technology to do the heavy lifting. It’s about real human connection, absolute discretion, and the artful craft of matching people with intention and care.

For those who expect excellence in every area of life, Linx is a trusted partner for finding love that fits.

The Magnetic Power of Loving Your Life

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In the world of modern dating, it’s easy to get caught up in strategy—what to say, when to text, how to present your best self. But if there’s one truth I’ve seen time and again in my years as a matchmaker, it’s this: the most attractive people are the ones who are genuinely excited about their lives.

Do something that sets your soul on fire.

This isn’t just feel-good advice—it’s a dating strategy in disguise. When you’re deeply engaged in a passion, whether it's launching a startup, training for a marathon, painting, cooking, or volunteering—something that makes you feel alive—you become magnetic. Your energy shifts. People feel it. They’re drawn to your vitality, your authenticity, your spark.

Too often, we treat dating as a separate sphere from the rest of life, like a side hustle we're supposed to "optimize." But your love life isn't a separate project. It grows from the same soil as everything else in your world. If you’re depleted, bored, or chasing someone else’s version of success, your relationships will reflect that. If you’re lit up, energized, and chasing your dreams? That radiance attracts people who want to join you for the ride.

This is why I always tell clients: focus on being deeply in love with your own life. When you’re firing on all cylinders, doing work that matters to you and surrounding yourself with people and environments that feed your spirit, your dating life doesn’t feel like a chore. You stop “performing” and start connecting. And that’s where the real magic happens.

The right relationship is not something to hunt down in desperation. It’s something you attract when you're truly living in alignment with your purpose.

So take the class. Start the business. Book the trip. Say yes to the dream that scares and excites you.

Because your future partner? They’re not looking for someone who’s perfect. They’re looking for someone who’s real. Someone who lights up the room—not by trying too hard, but by being fully, unapologetically alive.

Let the love you seek begin with the life you build.